NFL Daily Presents: Analytical Assault Week 10

Oh my, how the mighty have fallen. The great sink to new lows, streaks crumble, and one old geezer QB outlasts it all. And then, there's Baltimore........

Flash Forward
"Somewhere, Mel Brooks is smiling right now."
"If the Patriots are destiny's child, then Miami could be destiny's bastard child."
"Harder to figure out than Hillary Clinton's political views."
"Grab me a mirror, I look so good when I'm right."

-Brett Favre was like a hypnotist on Sunday. Minnesota bit his every fake, were fascinated by his every move. They were so in awe of him that they forgot that they're paid large craploads of cheddar to stop him. But King Cheesehead threw for over 350 and eclipsed the 60,000 yard mark and Dan Marino still pretends not to be jealous. They finally have a running game, while the Vikes still haven't found that QB guy, and will now be without Adrian Peterson for an extended period. When you hit so hard as a player, you're bound to get hurt. Favre completed passes to 10 different players, which is impressive considering that the Vikes barely had 10 completions on offense (16). Green Bay had it for over 40 minutes, and they're heads and shoulders (knees and toes) above Minnesota.
-What happens when you're strength turns into a weakness? You lose. The Titans found that out after their vaunted run defense got trampled by Freddy T and MJD. The Jags had 44 rushes and 23 passes, and controlled the pigskin for over 34 minutes. Vince Young threw 41 times which is a lot for someone who just isn't a good QB right now. You people have to stop being enamored with the "greatness" of VY and realize that he's not a very good passer. And when the overachieving running game went back to earth yesterday, Tennessee's chances were in Young's hands. And unlike State Farm, Young was not there, and he may not ever be there. The defense will have to carry the Titans if they want to reach the postseason. Because oh great Texas savior doesn't have your back.
-Running back reliance is very important in football (unless you're Favre). And when your top back is out, someone needs to step up and carry the load. Selvin Young did that for Denver in place of Travis Henry, Priest Holmes could not do that for an injured Larry Johnson. That was the difference, plain and simple. None of the QB's were very good, but the good offensive player from Texas came through when his team needed it, and Denver is back in the saddle again trying to go straight as piss to the promised land. Somewhere, Mel Brooks is smiling right now. I have now associated him with being a Broncos fan. That has nothing to do with this game, but Denver is definitely in this bad boy.
-If the Dolphins were gonna win a game this season, that might have been it. They owned a 10-2 lead over Buffalo, and everything looked good. But those scrappy Bills came back and won despite Miami having posession of the ball for almost 37 minutes. Jesse Chatman allowed the Phins to control the clock, and they played a very good game. But it looks like they could be a team of destiny. If the Patriots are destiny's child, then Miami could be destiny's bastard child. We'll see if Buffalo can keep this up against the Pats, of course Lynch will have to be back for them to have a chance. Miami will get there...one day.
-The Saints are harder to figure out than Hillary Clinton's political views (are they even there??). They reel off four straight wins and then get beat by a previously winless Rams team. St Louis had perfect run-pass balance and Steven Jackson and Antonio Pittman helped the Rams have ball possession for almost 40 minutes. Marc Bulger managed the game well, and Tory Holt had a very solid outing. New Orleans had an almost 4:1 pass to run ratio and that is clearly unacceptable. Drew Brees were picked off twice and will have to regain their momentum.
-The Steelers haven't hired too many head coaches in their history, and it looks like they've found another really good one in Mike Tomlin. Cleveland got great plays on defense and special teams in the first half, and connected on shots down the field led by Derek Anderson. But It may not be about the way the Browns played yesterday, It's probably about the way Mike Tomlin and the Pittsburgh defense adjusted in the second half. They closed off all the deep routes and forced Anderson to settle for check downs underneath. This strategy forces three and outs and allowed the Steelers to come back. Then you give the credit to Ben Roethlisberger for leading his team back, and to the Pittsburgh defense for shutting the Browns down in the 2nd half. The Steelers are an elite team, and played an superb 2nd half.
-The Redskins consistently fail to close out games. It's just not in their DNA, and the Eagles took advantage with a 20 point 4th quarter to save their season and reinvigorate a franchise that needed a jump start. Campbell, Thrash, and Portis did a great job of putting their team in a position to win. But Brian Westbrook was tremendous at the end of the game, and Washington helped the Eagle cause by committing more stupid penalties than a dyslexic accountant doing your taxes. It was a huge road win for Philly, as new life has been breathed into their season.
-Grab me a mirror, because I look so good when I'm right. I called the Falcons upset win over the Panthers, because the Panthers have fallen off the face of the earth. I wonder if Stephen Hawking ever looks at himself in the mirror and robotically types to himself "who's....the...man?" Well that's me right now without the science and with much more normal. Vinny Testaverde finally played like his age, and the running game was basically a nonfactor. Did you know that Vinny was college roommates with Thomas Jefferson? Atlanta didn't make any mistakes, and had a big drive late that ended with Joey Harrington coming through with a huge TD to Alge Crumpler. The last time Harrington and big drive late were said in the same sentence was Joey's tee shot on the 16th hole last winter. But I digress, good Falcons win, Panthers are underachieving more than the NYC Public School System.
-How pathetic are the Ravens? 6 turnovers again, and a loss to the Bengals who can barely get out of their own way. In fact, to make the players more comfortable with their surroundings, the coaches are now referred to as wardens, and locker rooms are holding cells. Steve McNair has hit the end of the road. He's fumbling more than Tiki Barber and Kerry Collins used to combined, and he isn't making good football decisions anymore. The defense can only do so much, I'm with Ray Lewis on this one. Brian Billick is once again under fire. Cincy scored their 21 points on 7 field goals. It's almost like they're allergic to the end zone, much like the Knicks who are allergic to making sense. I mean they break out in good decisions and wins, I mean who in their right mind would want that? Bottom line, both teams are awful but the Bengals are less terrible. The Ravens have some serious changing to do before they can show up on a consistent basis again.
-Rex to the rescue? It's been a wild ride for the Bears QB, but he came in for an injured Brian Griese and saved the Chicago season with a big win over Oakland. If Rex is actually successful getting the snap, he has the arm to hit the deep play and did so with Bernard Berrian. Josh McCown was brutal as usual, but Justin Fargas had a very solid day, but Chicago had that one quarter that saved their season (for now). We'll see if they can keep their momentum going.
-All the Cowboys had to do to beat the Giants and take a stranglehold of the NFC East was to stop making the critical mistakes. They made numerous penalties in the first half including just an insanely stupid taunting penalty. But the Giants evened it out with mistakes of their own, and the Cowboy talent prevailed late, as Tony Romo and Terrell Owens provided the fireworks in the win. What the Giants can't do is let this loss snowball, because they're still one of the best teams in the conference. They have a huge game at Detroit and need to be ready.
-Speaking of the Lions, I was shocked at the way them and the Cards played on Sunday. There were 9 combined turnovers, but Kurt Warner bounced back with a tremendous game, and they were able to control the clock for the win. The Arizona defense had 4 sacks and force a bunch of fumbles for the win. But the Lions rushed for negative 18 yards, and completely gave up on it. To win in this league, you have to be able to run the ball and the Lions won't be able to take it to the next level if they can't run the ball. Jon Kitna isn't mobile, and the defense can just go right after him if there's no remote threat of a running play. This was a terrible job by Detroit, and they have to regroup fast.
-We all know Peyton Manning had the worst game of his life, but they had a good chance to win because the Chargers defense was almost as dreadful. Darren Sproles and Antonio Cromartie were the main reasons that San Diego came up with the win, because Phil Rivers is just not a good QB this year. The Colts didn't deserve to win the game, but they came very close. But the Chargers offense needs to get into gear otherwise there's no way they can make the postseason. Maybe the AFC isn't as deep as we once thought. These were two of the best? Oy.
-I think Gardner-Webb could beat the 49ers in football. Alex Smith is terrible, but I put a lot of blame on Mike Nolan for not giving it to Frank Gore so much. He had 13 carries for 5.5 per rush, so why not give it to him more if your QB blows. The Seahawks were able to dominate with Alexander and Branch out, which shows how bad the Niners are.